BEING HARV

BAD BOY KING HARV

BAD BOY KING HARV

Hi Efuryone Hawwy here,

I has been doin a few intervoos this week of anipals I has met on Twitter. Now no blog would be complete wivout an intervoo wiv one of me bestest mates Harv. Now Harv is an interesting chap to say the least! Well I use de wurd interwesting but will let yoo make your own mind up on this little outspoken chap (he will kill me fur callin him little hee hee hee hee BOL)…………….

How old is yoo?

I iz 5.5 years old. My star sign is da King of de zodiac Leo and I share da same burfday as me mum. It is fate me sez.

What kind of dog is yoo?

A Tibetan Terrier of course! What kind of stoopid question is dat? Dey is de best bweed in da wurld. Pfft!

Okay…………… Where do yoo live?

Tibet of course! What a stoopid feckin question to ask! Duh!

Right ummm……………Is it hard bein yoo?

It’s not hard bein me at all! I am just a natural King – a natural leader and I has all me slaves awound me to bwing me sossiges, tweats and chikin whenefur I feels like it.

Yoo call yourself King Harv. Are yoo weally Royalty?

I iz King Harv pwoper rolyalty. I iz King of Twitter too. Ask anyfur!

Yoo is known fur being cheeky and cute. Yoo is also known fur bein wude. Does yoo mind bein called Wude? (cofurs ears wiv paws)

WUDE? WUDE? ME? I IZ NEFUR EFUR EFUR EFUR WUDE! WHERE DA FECK DID YOO GET DAT FWOM?

On that note, is der anyfing yoo woulds like to add?

Yeah, I would like to say I iz peezed yoo is me spanner mate, me no usually like spanners as find dem a bit mental if yoo know what I mean BOL. But fur a spanner yoo is okay. I woods also like to add dat I wuvs my fiancee @bellathetibetan vewy much and me gang mates @beasleydogue @whippetpickle @cabincutey @humfthecocker @amadeusivan @thewaffledoggy @Tibetanpaddy @cloudy813 @NoodleTSnoodle  @Lailabella @Theofficialarchie man my gang gots big and oh yoo too and @Dog_murray and blah blah blah………..

I had to stop him there or he woulds have gone on all night!  So there yoo have it Harv, King Harv, or wude Harv yoo decide!

Wuv yoo

Hawwy xxxx

De incident wiv de knickers and de man fwom BT!

KNICKERS GALORE!

KNICKERS GALORE!

Hello efuryone Hawwy here Well I had a visit to de house yesterday fwom not one but two vewy vewy nice men. Well I say nice de second one was a bit gwumpy but de I did get ofur excited and pee on his boots but dats anofur story and a little emabarssing. I blame de cold air and lack of fur round me back end due to me operations and me mum goin loony wiv de clippers (yoo will understand dis if yoo has bought me book). Anyway, back to de story. So two vans pulled up mum said dey were fwom BT to put a new phone in de house. Yoo see we has just moved to Devonia and whilst der is one line in which is a business line we needed a home number too appawently. All incwedibly borin if yoo ask me and I wish I had not asked at all! So I gots all excited as above and was woofin and howlin and Maggie me sisfur was followin me lead (no pun intended) After de incident wiv de peeing on de mans boot, I felt I shood weally make an effort to makes fweinds wiv him agin and show him dat I is weally a nice dog and dat de barkin, howlin and den peein on him was weally just me bein pleased to meet him. So…….. I thought “I know I bwing him a gift” Now wot gift wood yoo take someone yoo peed on? I thought about takin him a tennis ball but dey is mine and I share dem wiv no-one peed on or not peed on. I went and got a pully toy but Maggie gwabbed de end of it and whilst it was temptin to take her to him as a gift and have de hoomin affections and wuv to meself I don’t fink me hoomins would be happy and she had already jumped up at him and make him go “ooooof”! Somefin to do wiv crown jewels not sure. Now second in command (mama) had bin doin somefin wiv washin in de utility woom and she had stoopidly left a basket on de floor as she had got distwacted by de woofing and oooofing and peeing. I seized my opportunity. What better gift to give a stwange man dat I had peed on than somefin belongin to me hoomins. After all I is der dog so dey should pay a penalty too! So I snuffled in de basket “socks nah too boring, sheets too big, t-shirt no I always twip on dem…..aha!!!” der it was de jewel in de basket de pawfect gift fur de man. I gwabbed de gift in me mouth and went off to find him. Luckily he was outside so I went up to him clutching his gift and gave it too him. He took it gently fwom me mouth and said good boy. Den he wealised what it was! Well second in command came out wiv a cuppa tea fur him and his mate to find him stood der clutching his gift fwom me………. a wuvly paif of boss mums knickers. De man went vewy red and second in command looked shocked. De man twied to explain as best he could wot had happened as he gingerly handed dem back to second in command who was also bwight red at dis point. She twied to explain dat I was always taken stuff fwom de washin basket. Needless to say I gots dragged inside and all fur given wot I fink was de pawfect gift to someone I had barked and peed on. I don’t get hoomins at all but I guess us dogs are all fur and no knickers! Lots of wuv Hawwy xxxxx

Knicker thief

Knicker thief

THE UTTER JOY OF FOX POO

Bootiful ain't it!

Bootiful ain’t it!

Hi Efuryone, Hawwy here

Now it is quite simple for even de daftest hoomin to see dat dis blog is all about de joy of fox poo. Now us dogs like nuffin more dan a good roll in de sweet smellin stuff. Nots only does we roll in it but we push ourselves along de ground to make sure we has got jus enuff of de dlightful secent behinds our ears. After all, we not know what wuvly dog we gonna meet when we is out and about de town!

I has had de pleasure to have a roving wepawter today called Ruby Dooby know on Twitter as @RubytheCavalier

Ruby has been kind enuff to do a weport into her experiences wiv de wonderful natural pwaduct Fox Poo…..over to yoo Ruby…..

“Fank yoo Hawwy, I wuv fox poo becos de hoomans fink dat Cavaliers are posh cos we has King Charles in our names. Howefur, I likes to change de hoomans views! I say stuff de posh and roll in de poo! Tis smellin bootifuland weally attwacts de boys too! It means a whole lot to me rolling in de fox poo. I I coulds leave one legacy it woulds be to say YAP to fox poo and Pfft to baths. My hoomans hate it becos dey say it smells and its one of dose stinks yoo can’t gets out of stuff but we has to put up wiv der purfooms and stuff so I fink it is time fur dogs to bite back. Roll! Rool my furiends like your life depends on it! But wemember to worm wegularly.”

Ruby Dooby Rolled in fox Poopy!

Ruby Dooby Rolled in fox Poopy!

Thank yoo Ruby. Vewy insightful. So there yoo have it my fweinds. Roll fur your life in de bootiful fox poo but be warned de hoomans is fighting back. Der is a pwoduct out der dat hoomins is buying to rid us orf our bootiful foxy scent. It is called Fox Poo but I fink dat is to con us into finking it no shampoo. If yoo see dis bottle in yoo house wun de hoomins is gonna wash away your perfume! Fur yoo hoomin weaders yoo can get it fwom @animology or www.animology.co.uk

Made by hoomins to spoil dogs fun!

Made by hoomins to spoil dogs fun!

That is all fur now folks. Wemember to roll particularly the neck area so dat de poo gets stuck in your collar too. I is orf to pwactice me carols fur de #crooningcaninegroups furst song of de season wiv @angelthefurball and @humfthecocker

Wuv yoo all

Hawwy xxxxx

The art of hiding bones

Mmm not sure!

Mmm not sure!

Hello efuryone Hawwy here,

Now I a don’t pwetend dat I am some kind of bone hiding guru. In fact I am quite wubbish at it! I spend hours, yes hours, searching fur de bestest place to hide me bones fwom Maggie and anyone else who might want dem.

as yoo will see fwom de picfur above I not vewy good at it! I gets confoosed. I has bin known to stand starin at dem fur ages finkin contemplatin der position. Some of de places I has chosen is

1) middle of de room.

2) by de side of a chair.

3) By de side of de bed upstairs.

4) On de stairs.

5) In me bed.

6) in Maggies bed (don’t ask!)

7) On de sofa.

8) Under de table.

9) In de bathroom.

10) in de washing basket.

So yoo will see fwom de above list I not an expert. Maggie much better dan me she buries hers! So my advice to yoo is choose well. Don’t let anyone see yoo hidin it. Don’t hide in your brofurs or sisfurs bed. And if in doubt just carry it awound wiv yoo.

wuv yoo,

Hawwy xxxx

De incident wiv de poo bag!

It wasn't me!

It wasn’t me!

Hello all, Hawwy here,

I had an incident wiv a poo bag dis mawnin no fwogs involved dis time though! Just to gives yoo a bit of backgwound, I has written me book and one of de chapters is called “it wasn’t me!” That me pwactisin me innocent face above!

Today I was in a bit of a norty mood. Boss mum was doin a bit of work and second in command was waitin to go out. Now I was in de garden wunnin awound all ofur de place. Second in command was callin me to come in and Maggie was bein a goody two paws and doin as she was told!

Now I can ignore second in command easily . I can pwetend she no der which drives her mad! So der I was quite appy in me own world Bol Bol.  Suddenly  I spied a black bag lyin on de floor and I knew instantly it held a wather large poo  I had done earlier dat 2nd in command had picked up! I looked at her and she looked at me and I could sea in dat fleeting second de fear in her eyes! Well I ran like de clappers and so did she. Who would reach de poo bag first me or her? Well she slipped on de muddy gwass and victory was mine! Oh joy oh bliss I ran around de garden poo bag slapping de sides of me chops as I ran. 2nd in command was furious she was shouting and hollering but not wanting to get too close in case of unexpected explosions of de bag! What fun I was aving pure bliss. 2nd in command went off and I dwopped de poo bag no fun if she not chasing! Suddenly boss mum appeared laughing and told me to come in! Phew glad she was not cwoss!

So if yoo want to be chased but not let your hoomin get too close use de poo bag technique it weally works!

wuv yoo,

hawwy xxxx

Introducing my wuv @Summerhollett

wuv of my life

Wuv of my life

Hi Pals, Hawwy here

Now not many of yoo may know dis but a few months ago I started singing and got nicknamed de #crooningcanine shortly after dat I met de wuv of my life @summerhollett and den I started to sing fur her to wooooooo her (sniffing bums is not always de best way to get de girls) Now Summer is a speshul lady, she was a wescue dog until she was adopted by her mum and dad and found her furefur home. She has a step-brofur too called @stanleyhollett he one of my bestest pals.

Yoo can wead all about both of dm in me book “Help my dog’s on Twitter” which is out on Amazon now as well as a whole chapter dedicated to finding wuv on twitter. In de meantime here is an eggsample of one of de songs I has song to Summer on Twitter;

I wuv u jus de way u are

Don’t go changing to twy & please me

U nefur lets me down befur

Don’t imagine u too familiar &

I don’ts see u anymore

I wouldn’t weave u in times of twouble

We nefur coulds has come dis fur

I tooks de good times I takes de bad times

I takes u jus de way ur are.

Don’t go tryin some new fahion

Don’t change de colour of ur fur

U always has my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

I don’ts want clever confursation

I nefur wants to work dat hard

I jus want someone dat I can talk to

I want u jus de way u are

I needs to know dat u will always be

De same old someone dat I knew

What will it take fur u to believe in me

De way dat I believe in you

I woofed I wuv u and dats forever

& dis I pwomise fwom de heart

I could not wuv u any betfur

I wuv you jus de way u are.

wuv yoo all,

Hawwy xxxxx

What a day!

Hi Pals Hawwy here

Wot a day I has had! I was lucky enuff to have cuddles wiv mum on de bed which is a rare treat. I fink she felt guilty cos she bin away all week. Howefur, @Madmaggiemoo my sisfur decided to get in on de act. She is not dainty and gentle fur such a small dog she is like a hippo walkin all over yoo. Not only dat she licks and licks and licks and mum shouts “no lickys” and dat makes Maggie lick even more! Den she won’t stay still she walks all ofur me and stands on me pee pee (ouch) and den sits on me head and pulls me ears. I can tell yoo der was no nice gentle snuggles dis mornin dat fur sure!

So up we gets and mum gets up lookin like some kind of swamp monster wiv her hair stickin up efurywhere. Now I knows my hair sticks up but at least I look cute wiv it. She looked about as cute as a Rhino about to charge BOL BOL BOL

I tweeted wiv me fweinds about lots of fings today includin de fact dat me new book has been ordered by three different stores in Dartmouth includin de Community Bookshop http://www.dartmouthcommunitybookshop.co.uk/ dey got pawtographed copies on order! .Dis is pawsome and I hopes dat it does sell well. Oh by de way when yoo buys it can yoo do a review on Amazon fing fur me so dat de good news spweads.

I saw some interwesting fings to day like dis

hairdresser fotoout&about

I then went fur walk wiv Maggie dow by de ponds. We was on our leads. Now dese are de ponds here

pondsDSCF5411

Now as yoo can see de one on de left is not pond lookin like de one on de right! der are three ponds. Well mum said to let me and Maggie off the lead much to our other hoomins dismay. Well wivin 30 seconds we heard a splosh as Maggie had run straight into de pond on de left finking it was grass. She swam to de bank and clambered out wiv me standin der woofin at her. When she gots out she was cofured in green slime BOL BOL BOL BOL she shook it orf and kept on runnin. Mum was laffin too! She won’t do dat agin in a hurry. Jus wish we ad de camera fing wiv us.

I has also bin pwactisin me pawtograph today

Pawtograph Pwactise

Mum finks best to get a special one designed though. What yoo fink?

Right I has rambled on enuff. If yoo like me blogs please do leave comments and stuff it would be pawsome if yoo did.

Wuv,

Hawwy xxxx

Why do Hoomins dwess us up!

Hello Efuryone Hawwy here,

Well I was talkin to me pal Humf today as lots of peeples (mainly hoomins) were commentin on how cute he looks in his new pwofile picfur! I has to say he is not impwessed as you can see by his face! Si I showed him a picfur of what me hoomins made me wear a while back and it made him roll awound de floor barkin! So I started to fink why does de hoomins insist on dwessin us up in clotehs after all we is not hoomin we is dogs and has a coat on permanently as it is!

I has seen dogs in skirts, dogs in kilts, dogs in leather jackets and even a dog dwessed up as a hotdog! Dis weally has to stop it is embawassin. So does your hoomin dwess you up at all. I would like to hear fwom you if they does. In the meantime I has put a list below of some of de most appalling acts of fashion crime against dogs I could find.

Wuv you all

Hawwy xxxxx

   

     

     

         

      

De Pwoblem wiv Patio Doors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi All Hawwy here!

So yoo will see fwom de title dat I is gonna Dog aboot patio doors and de pwoblem wiv dem! Well I has jus moved to a house wiv de dweaded patio doors so I is welatively new with de interwaction wiv dem. Today I felt der full force BOL BOL BOL.

Der I was today quite appily sittin in de sittin woom (which is why I was sittin though sometimes I does lie down too) wen I saw a wascally squizzel in de garden as bolds as yoo like sat der lookin in through de patio doors at me. I tell yoo dis squizzel was challengin me! At furst I sat der lookin al cool like twyin not to lets him know I ad spotted him. I den started to move slowly in de belly cwal position so dat i was closer to de patio doors. And den…………. crash bang and a sound that goes a bit like dis squeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk

I had gots so carried away I furgot dat de patio door was an actual object and solid and not jus air. Well ia was most embawassed as I lay in a heap on de floor. I had not hurt meself ofur dan me pwide. De squizzel still sat der lookin at me cheeky little squizzer! I vow i will get him when der is no glass to stop me!

Boss mum was laffin at me soo much not fur but de good fing is dat I let a spectacular amount of slobber and nose marks stweak all done de glass so she gots to clean dem again bol bol bol.

Watch out fur patio doors de does be a pwoblem and can gets in de way!

Wuv Hawwy xxxx

p.s. Hoomins always ask why we press our noses up against windows…. it is simple we likes it and it annoys yoo BOL BOL BOL