It me Hawwy. Now some of yoo know my auntie Jane has been visitin us fwom Londinium. Now I wuv my auntie Jane vewy vewy much. When she visits she always brings noms and gives bestest cuddles. She has been known to rub my tummy fur a solid 15 minutes straight!
Now de boss had to go wurk one day dis week leavin auntie Jane in charge. Or so they thought! Now auntie Jane had a dog when she was a kid but not since. Dis got me finking………
Now me knew auntie Jane was gonna be an easy touch but me was not sure what nortiness I shud do furst. Should I do dis……….
or maybe dis…….
or maybe even dis!
decishuns decishuns. Well I needed to plot dis carefully cos I had a day of fun ahead of me. So I decided to start wiv de old I want to go out trick. Dat is always a gud one to get de dogless hoomin goin. Yoo see peeps who no has a dog does not hav de ability to gauge if de dog dey lukin after is fakin it or not. Dis bwings all kinds of dilemas fur said hoomin as wen de dog wants to go out dey always lets dem out.
In my case dis was de pawfect day fur de hoomin excercise class of upsy downsy. Dis day it was waining outside and waining hard. It had started waining quite early on and had not stopped. So I started by going to auntie Jane and putting my head on her knee. De magic wurds “do you want to go out ” spilled fwom auntie Janes mouth much to my delight.
Round one; up auntie Jane got and opened de door and out I went. I stood der staring back in at auntie Jane. Staring and staring getting wetter and wetter. Eventually auntie Jane coaxed me back in and sat back down again after a towel rub down quick cuddle, stroke and treat. Round one to me.
Round two; about 30 minutes later I appwoached auntie Jane and placed my paw on her knee. “do you want to go out?” Up auntie Jane got opened de door and out me went. Again I stood der in de wain getting wetter and wetter. Auntie Jane stood der saying “wot do you want boy?” I just stared. Auntie Jane went to get me in and I ran off and got my ball. A couple of throws and I was back in. Towel rub down, stroke quick treat. Round two to me.
Round three; left bit longer dis time as had a snooze. Pawed at the back door. “do you want to go out again?” Up auntie Jane got and let me out again! Dis time she said she wanted to make sure I did sumfin! So she came into de garden wiv me and I ran off. She stood der fur ages in de rain wiv drops drippin off de top of her hood. A wet line of sogginess forming pawfectly where her coat met her jeans. I cud hear her shoutin fur me and saw her go look fur me in de garden. Wen she cud not find me she headed back to de back door to see me sat in de conservatory in de dry lukin out at her. Round three to me.
Round four; Bored of de I want to go out game I noticed auntie Jane had gone to de little girls room and left what appeared to be a most tasty item on de table. Upon inspection de item was a most chewable pen. I ceased my opportunity and had it away sharpish. A quick chew under de table and I watched intently as auntie Jane made her way back to her chair. She reached out to pick up her pen but alas it had gone *sniggers* up auntie jane got and looked under de coffee table. Not der. She lifted de cushions on de sofa. Not der. She lifted de seats on de sofa. Not der but der was 20p. She stood hands on hips at a loss as to where de pen cud be. I had come ofur by dis point to lend moral support. As auntie Jane turned and said to me “where can it be?” she spotted an object hanging out of my mouth. Needless to say I did de drop and run technique whilst auntie Jane picked up wot was left of her pen. Round four to me.
Round five; Dis was my final round of de day as time was marching on and second in de boss wud be back soon. I had watched auntie Jane make de most delicious sandwhich I had efur seen. I knew dat she was not a great sharer wen it came to her food but equally my desire fur a piece of de action was ofur whelming. Wot to do. Ah an idea sprung to mind. Wen staying in sumone elses house luking after sumone elses dog as a hoomin dey become sooper dooper wen it comes to protecting de homestead. I knew if I barked at de front door as if sumone was der auntie Jane wud investigate and in turn not being used to dogs she wud leave her sandwhich unguarded. I also knew dat wiv me barking Maggie my sisfur wud join in and then giv me de opportunity to dive back to retrive de pwize. Plan hatched I started wiv gentle woofs while lying down. den I wud look around as if I cud hear sumfin. Den I growled den at de right time wen auntie Jane was becoming concerned I leaped up followed by Maggie ran to de front door and let rip “woof woof woof” Maggie as suspected joined in wiv no clue wot she was doin. As auntie Jane opened de door I seized my chance doubled back into de sitting room and snaffled de sandwhich. Yum Yum Yum in my tum. Auntie Jane came back saying “there’s no-one there” then as I legged it a bellow of “HARRY” was ringing in my ears. Round five to me.
So dat was my most pawsome day. As I said I wuv my auntie jane vewy vewy much and she is an easy target. Not sure she will fall fur de same tricks again but boy wot a fun time I had.
Lots of wuv